Our school secretary
sent an email to our school families, listing all the lost possessions she
discovered in the locker rooms. I can’t make this stuff up or
improve on it. However, I am highlighting my favorite entries. And adding
remarks in brackets where I can.
FROM THE GIRLS'
LOCKER ROOM:
1 (YES, ONE!) black sandal - for the left foot, size 6.5; has zipper at the heel
1 soft winter hat-white, light blue, shades of pink striped
1 very ugly towel - it may have been pink at one time
1 water bottle - with lime green lid- still has water in it - I'm not cleaning it [Maybe the lid was white before the mold multiplied.]
1 pair of short shorts fuchsia with neon orange trim and black undershorts attached [Just burn it! It violates dress code.]
2 belts; 1 white, thin; 1 wide, felt brown with aqua stones on buckle
1 silver-ish hair clip
1 navy blue Dodgers baseball cap
1 gander mountain baseball cap - camo & pink
1 pair pink sweat "Imagine" pants [I’m trying to imagine whose they are.]
1 black t-shirt with midnight blue sparkle stars
1 bright green Walk for Life t-shirt
1 extremely sheer floral top [Just burn it! It violates dress code.]
1 pair Hollister jeans size 0 - waist 24
1 pair Jordache jeans size 14
1 purple/white/silver check shirt with grey flannel inserts at both sides
1 nylon "Josh Biddle" drawstring tote bag with "stuff" inside [Who is Josh Biddle?]
1 nylon Susquehanna Health drawstring tote bag with "stuff" inside [What kind of stuff?]
1 pair of size 8 Basics sneakers - pink blue and black
1 jewelry shop Christmas village-type figurine
1 pair women's small mesh red gym shorts
1 pair of Tweety Bird pajama pants [Did the owner come to school in pajamas and get dressed in the locker room?]
Mr. W.'s "bird" CD - don't worry - I'll see that he gets it! [See that you do!]
FROM THE GUYS' LOCKER ROOM
several pieces of sports uniforms that were never returned - I'll take care of these - no worries
1 extra ugly and dirty towel - I think it was the "community" towel [Ewww]
1 Honduras wrist band
1 2XL black mesh gym shorts
1 track & field nylon drawstring tote bag
1 pair cargo-type shorts - men's 32 waist - Faded Glory
1 blue/black/green/white plain short sleeved collared shirt - size 14-16
1 pair beige Land's End cargo pants with elastic waist
1 black, white, yellow, turquoise plaid short sleeved collared shirt - men's small?
1 plaid short sleeved collared shirt-same colors as above - size 14-16
1 pair dark blue Land's End elastic waist pants - "Lucas" written inside [Hmm. I think I might know who these belong to.]
2 men's ties - 1 silver-grey 1 blue white black kind of checked
1 dirty inside out stiff white sock [I hope you washed your hands after this inventory.]
1 (YES, ONE!) black sandal - for the left foot, size 6.5; has zipper at the heel
1 soft winter hat-white, light blue, shades of pink striped
1 very ugly towel - it may have been pink at one time
1 water bottle - with lime green lid- still has water in it - I'm not cleaning it [Maybe the lid was white before the mold multiplied.]
1 pair of short shorts fuchsia with neon orange trim and black undershorts attached [Just burn it! It violates dress code.]
2 belts; 1 white, thin; 1 wide, felt brown with aqua stones on buckle
1 silver-ish hair clip
1 navy blue Dodgers baseball cap
1 gander mountain baseball cap - camo & pink
1 pair pink sweat "Imagine" pants [I’m trying to imagine whose they are.]
1 black t-shirt with midnight blue sparkle stars
1 bright green Walk for Life t-shirt
1 extremely sheer floral top [Just burn it! It violates dress code.]
1 pair Hollister jeans size 0 - waist 24
1 pair Jordache jeans size 14
1 purple/white/silver check shirt with grey flannel inserts at both sides
1 nylon "Josh Biddle" drawstring tote bag with "stuff" inside [Who is Josh Biddle?]
1 nylon Susquehanna Health drawstring tote bag with "stuff" inside [What kind of stuff?]
1 pair of size 8 Basics sneakers - pink blue and black
1 jewelry shop Christmas village-type figurine
1 pair women's small mesh red gym shorts
1 pair of Tweety Bird pajama pants [Did the owner come to school in pajamas and get dressed in the locker room?]
Mr. W.'s "bird" CD - don't worry - I'll see that he gets it! [See that you do!]
FROM THE GUYS' LOCKER ROOM
several pieces of sports uniforms that were never returned - I'll take care of these - no worries
1 extra ugly and dirty towel - I think it was the "community" towel [Ewww]
1 Honduras wrist band
1 2XL black mesh gym shorts
1 track & field nylon drawstring tote bag
1 pair cargo-type shorts - men's 32 waist - Faded Glory
1 blue/black/green/white plain short sleeved collared shirt - size 14-16
1 pair beige Land's End cargo pants with elastic waist
1 black, white, yellow, turquoise plaid short sleeved collared shirt - men's small?
1 plaid short sleeved collared shirt-same colors as above - size 14-16
1 pair dark blue Land's End elastic waist pants - "Lucas" written inside [Hmm. I think I might know who these belong to.]
2 men's ties - 1 silver-grey 1 blue white black kind of checked
1 dirty inside out stiff white sock [I hope you washed your hands after this inventory.]
[Students: Next year, will you please abandon clothing and other possessions that I can actually wear? What was the size of the Tweety Bird pajama pants?]
Too funny! But in this digital age, you'd think the sec'y would just photograph the contents and send by email. Would save a lot of writing. And, the best part would be that then we could actually see the Tweety Bird pj pants.
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