Yes, I know “uther” should be spelled “other.” Sometimes I choose to spell things incorrectly like the rest of my fellow Americans.
|This is not my telephone.|
Rachel* started calling my home over a month ago. “Is Gene there?” She sounded young.
“No. Can I take a message?”
“Tell him I need to see him.” She gave me a number. I didn’t write it down.
After that, she called frequently. My sons talked to her. I don’t think they wrote down her number, either. I know they never gave it to their dad.
Rachel left numerous messages on our answering machine. She left her number. No problem there. My husband rarely listens to the machine.
|This is not Rachel's letter.|
She sent my husband a letter. He muttered about it and mentioned he needed to meet with her so she’d leave him alone.
I slept in this morning and finally wandered downstairs around 8:30, wrapped in my fuzzy fuchsia bathrobe, to find a strange woman standing alone at the kitchen island.
Her long, silky dark hair cascaded over the back of her white lab coat, and a stethoscope graced her slender neck. Startled, I stared speechlessly at her for several seconds.
|This is not Rachel. This is a model pretending to be a nurse. Rachel is a real nurse.|
She answered my unasked question, “He’s in the bathroom getting me a urine specimen. I’m Rachel from the insurance company. I’ve already taken his blood.” She held up a test tube.
My husband entered the room carrying a little cup. He handed it to Rachel and she placed it on my kitchen island. Eww. She carefully poured the contents into a test tube which she held over my kitchen island. Eww.
“Do you want me to take your blood pressure while I’m here?”
|I certainly hope so.|
While Rachel positioned the cuff around Gene's arm, I remembered why I’d come downstairs and turned on the Keurig. Then I handed my husband a container of disinfectant wipes, thinking of the Clorox commercial, “Of all the things that happen on your kitchen counters…”
I took my coffee upstairs, fairly certain I’d seen the last of Rachel.
*Rachel is her real name. She has nothing to hide.